On the Formula for Success

My dear friend,

The candle tonight has the quiet light of a long conversation — the kind of light that slows the pace and makes the words honest. I want to write to you about success, and about the lies we have been told about it.

Earlier today I spoke with V. You know the type of conversation that stays in your mind long after the call ends. That was one of them. V asked me, very simply, almost shyly, “What is the formula for success?”

I smiled when he asked. Because if you look at him from the outside, you would think he already has the formula. I have watched his journey for the past four years. I saw him when he was still in Nigeria, doing the work that no one sees, managing country staff, solving problems in the field, building trust with partners. Then I saw him take the risk to go to Syria for an assignment. He went to a context that was complicated, politically sensitive, and emotionally heavy. After that, he went to Uganda, where he led with more confidence, more clarity, more calm. And now he is back in Nigeria in a senior leadership role, running programs and operations, building strategy, advising leaders, and mentoring others. This is not a small growth. This is a full circle.

So when someone like him asks for a formula, I listen.

He said, “I do not want to be successful only in the sense of position. I want to be successful in the sense of impact. I want to be ethical. I want to be balanced. I want to be useful.” That is when I knew this was not a question about career ladders. It was a question about becoming.

After I ended the call, I sat for a while and thought about him, and about many others I have met across countries. Nigeria, Afghanistan, Turkey, Bangladesh, South Sudan, Lebanon, Syria. And many others. Different languages, different politics, different passports, yet the same question sat in many eyes. How do I grow without losing myself. How do I rise without becoming the thing I am trying to fix. How do I stay human and still become excellent.

When I look at my own journey, and his, and the journeys of the leaders I admire the most, I keep coming back to the same pattern. Success, the kind that lasts, does not come from talent alone. It does not come from speed. It does not come from titles. It comes from three things that must stay together.

Vision. Challenge. Reflection.

Vision without challenge becomes fantasy. Challenge without reflection becomes burnout. Reflection without vision becomes nostalgia.

But when you put them together, something powerful happens.

Vision plus challenge plus reflection equals growth. Or, if you like it written, Vision plus challenge plus reflection equals maturity.

Let me tell you what I mean.

Vision is the picture you hold in front of you. It is the north star in your story. It is the answer to the question, “Why am I doing this.” Without vision, work becomes task. Life becomes reaction. You move, but you do not advance. The people I saw who stayed alive inside hard systems were the ones who had a vision bigger than the job description. V is like that. He does not want to just manage projects. He wants to shape how projects are imagined. He wants his work to create opportunity for others. That is vision.

But vision on its own is not enough. The world will test it. Life will test it. Institutions will test it. This is where challenge comes in. Challenge is what sharpens us. Challenge is the hard posting, the difficult colleague, the rejected proposal, the delayed promotion, the tight budget, the complicated context. Challenge is the thing that tells you, “You are not yet who you think you are.” We do not like it, but we need it. All the leaders I respect most went through seasons when they were misunderstood, underpaid, overlooked, or sent to places no one else wanted to go. That season is where skill is built. Challenge stretches capacity so that vision does not stay theoretical.

Then comes reflection. This is the piece most people rush past. I told you about it many times before because it is very important. Reflection is what takes experience and turns it into wisdom. Without reflection, you repeat. With reflection, you evolve. Reflection is you sitting at the end of the day and asking, What did this teach me. Where was I proud. Where did I fail. What pattern is forming. What is God or life or context trying to teach me right now. I always say this to my teams. Experience alone does not develop people. Reflected experience does.

So if I were to answer V again, I would say it like this.

Hold a vision. Welcome the challenge. Do not skip the reflection.

Vision gives direction. Challenge gives skill. Reflection gives depth.

Vision says, this is where I am going. Challenge says, this is what I must become to get there. Reflection says, this is what I learned and this is how I will adjust.

If one of the three is missing, growth slows or breaks.

I have seen people with big vision but no appetite for challenge. They talk beautifully, write beautifully, even post beautifully, but the moment reality pushes back, they retreat. They get defensive. They blame the system. Vision without challenge is like a house without walls.

I have seen people who are always in challenge. They work hard, they travel, they respond to crises, they fight for funding, they move from country to country, but they never stop to reflect. Ten years later, they are exhausted, still repeating year one. Challenge without reflection is motion without progress.

And I have seen people who reflect a lot, who journal, who read, who analyze, but who do not take risks. They stay in the safe zone. That kind of reflection becomes sentimental. It looks deep, but it does not build anything.

The real growth I have seen, the kind I saw in V, is when someone keeps all three alive at once.

Let me give you an example from our call. V said, “Sometimes I feel ready for the next level, but the opportunity is not open yet.” I told him, “Keep preparing for it even when it is not open.” That is vision. Then I told him, “Ask for harder tasks. Volunteer to do the assignments no one wants. Go to the field. Go to the tough locations. Maybe even take on a new level or role, at a regional office or the headquarters.” That is challenge. Then I told him, “After each assignment, write what you learned, even if it is just half a page. Speak to your future self. Capture the lesson before it fades.” That is reflection.

This is the formula.

Vision plus challenge plus reflection equals sustainable growth.

Not viral growth, not social media growth, not overnight growth, but the kind of growth that makes people trust you with bigger things.

When I think about the people I mentored, the ones who truly advanced were not always the smartest, but they were the most intentional. They kept showing up. They kept learning. They kept asking for feedback. They kept refining. They knew that success is not one moment, it is a series of decisions in the same direction.

There is something else I told V, and I want to tell you too. Success is not only vertical. It is not only moving up. It is also moving inward. It is the way you become more honest, more generous, more grounded. I have met people who climbed high but became bitter. That is not success. Real success is when your competence rises and your character softens. When you achieve more and become kinder. When you gain influence and still listen. Really listen.

I told you many times in these letters about leadership. Here is one more thing I want to tell you today. The leaders who last are the ones who do not let progress kill reflection. The ones who do not let ambition choke gratitude. The ones who do not let busyness steal learning.

So, my friend, if you want a formula, here is mine.

See clearly. Do the hard thing. Then sit with it.

Vision, plus challenge, plus reflection, equals a life that keeps expanding.

The candle is smaller now, but the light is the same. Which reminds me of something. Success is not about how loud it looks, it is about how steady it stays.

Until tomorrow, keep your vision honest, your challenges chosen, and your reflection faithful.

With clarity and care,

Ali Al Mokdad